Something is up. I’m not as productive as I've imagined
myself to be. By right, this should be the perfect time to re-invent myself one
more time relentlessly. I’m now 30 years old and if I’m ever to have my own offspring
by age 35, I barely have five years to pursue my most authentic self.
Not a lot of people will understand what I’m trying to do
initially, but like what I always say – my life is not for people to
understand, but for my own self to live…so they can judge all they want.
Of course being in a society I’m constantly bombarded to
yield into the norms of everyday living.
I’m not immune to people bombarding me
with ideas of how I should live my life. And let me tell you that every time I
entertain someone whose ideals are far-fetched from mine out of courtesy - I
loose myself; and to loose one’s bearing is not a good feeling. I have to make that
decision to be myself at all times.
These past few months, leading a domesticated life, there
have been a shedding of the ego. I’m slowly coming into terms of my own value
as a person, and having less need of proving myself. I’m slowly understanding
the strength of who I ‘am and what I can give. From time to time I do let the
small insecure girl come out and play but I try to keep my core intact.
Well as it turned out, based on my latest examination, I
have evolved into an ENFJ personality. I do wish I could have nurtured my
scholastic side much earlier but then again, like what I said, I do still have
time.
There’s a lot of studying ahead of me.
It’s time for this philosopher
to observe the drought and make some gold.
I've been quite active with outreach programs. Helping out
with the family business. Basically being there for the family. The album is
yet to be released. I ‘am to conduct the teen classes this week. I have
adjusted to the traffic, pollution, and weather.
